A common talking point among coaches at the moment is the emotional state of this generation of children. We all coach in Schools on a weekly basis delivering PE lessons & After-School Clubs and we often share stories of instances where children have had a negative reaction to a perceived setback during a session. For instance, as coaches we often have to deal with behavioural issues including self-exclusion from the session, some may become extremely emotional and others will throw tantrums or even become abusive.
I’ve found that after the covid lockdowns children have become less resilient and are more prone to reacting disproportionately to perceived setbacks, especially when placed in a competitive environment. To add context, the setbacks I am referring to usually always impact the likelihood of failure/success. For example, a child being unhappy with the team they have been assigned to because they believe that their team is less talented or a child could react negatively to the activity due to lack of confidence in their own ability. What jumps out to me from these statements is that the underlying factor causing these negative reactions is the fear of failure. In addition, if this is how children are reacting to minor issues during PE lessons how will they react to major setbacks in their life?
Do children fear failure?
The simple answer is, yes. It is common for primary school aged children to develop a fear of failure, because at a young age children will often experience their first setbacks in life. For example, failing a test, losing a football match or a competition.
There are many reasons why children develop this fear, there are excessive demands placed on them to succeed by society, especially academically. This also goes hand in hand with the fear of letting others down as children often feel the need to meet the expectations set by those around them such as their teachers, family, friends and coaches. I think it’s important to say that my perspective on this topic is very much based on my experiences working with children, which has almost exclusively occurred in working class areas. Which leads me to what I think is the most impactful factor which develops a fear of failure, low self-esteem.
There is research to suggest that the most deprived children in the country suffer from massive fear of failure due to lack of self esteem and confidence in their abilities. Academically, the gap in literacy, writing and maths between students receiving free school meals and their peers is significant. I would argue that this statement also applies to physical literacy in some cases.
As an active grassroots football coach, I can say it is becoming harder and harder for those living in deprived areas to afford after school sports such as a weekend football team which can cost upwards of £40 per month. Furthermore, the accessibility for children to start these types of clubs is becoming tougher than ever with families starting to put children through private coaching from as early as 4 years old. I remember as a child starting my first football team at 9 years old. Nowadays a 7 year old might get turned away four times before joining a team because of lack of playing experience; it’s these so-called “coaches” fear to lose that drives this crisis outside of school sport. Experiences like that can absolutely shatter a child’s self-esteem and I wouldn’t blame them for never trying again. Society needs to do better to nurture the acceptance of failure as part of the process of improvement.
The result of such issues is that these children have not been supported to appreciate the value of failure. Society has made less resilient children who struggle in moments of adversity and instead of reflecting on the moment and using it to learn. Children are experiencing negative feelings of emotion which inhibits their ability to be successful and achieve.
Can we use Sport to build resilience?
The team at Ultimate Kids acknowledge the wider benefits that can be achieved through sport and physical activity. Sport teaches us that you can’t always win, sometimes you have to lose. Through sport we better understand our emotions in the face of victory and defeat. When we lose, we must overcome the negative emotions that come with that. As mentioned previously, the value of losing teaches us that we must see opportunity in adversity to learn and bounce back, this is known as resilience.
A trial and error approach to learning can help children develop their problem solving skills while also becoming more resilient. In our camps and in schools at the moment Dodgeball seems to be the trending sport to help facilitate this type of environment. You may think how on earth does Dodgeball teach kids life lessons? Firstly, Dodgeball is a great sport for inclusive activity. It’s a really simple game that requires three basic skills all children should be able to perform from an early age: catching, throwing and dodging. The way Dodgeball is played encourages players to learn through trial and error, you can be rewarded and punished for taking risks. When hit by the ball initially it can be disappointing but you find children tend to handle this better in Dodgeball because when they strike out somebody else they expect them to react the same way.
However, not everyone handles this element of the game with the same maturity. The good thing about Dodgeball is that the rules can be adapted in many different ways to suit the group of children playing the game, for example, we play stuck in the mud Dodgeball a lot to encourage kids to take more risks without having to worry about spending long periods out of the game if they are hit by a ball. This works really well with children who struggle to cope with losing and helps them to become more accepting of the rules. Some might make the case that Dodgeball damages confidence in children and can bring out undesirable behaviours such as aggression and stress. This may be true in some circumstances but when done properly in the right environment there is no reason why it can’t be used as a vehicle to improve mental well-being.
Myself (Liam) and Kieran have taken groups of children from our schools to participate in the School Games Dodgeball Competitions. These competitions are inclusive events designed to get more kids involved in healthy competition. We try to include children who are the least active and often exclude themselves from similar activities due to low-self esteem to try and encourage them to be more confident. Seeing the children in the class who you wouldn’t consider the most “sporty” encouraging their teammates, and giving their all in the competitions really does put in perspective the potential of sport and the impact it can have on a person’s confidence when part of a team. They do a great job organising these events and they really do have a positive impact on the children whether they win or lose.
